Tails or Tales…

"Butterfly"

In my mother’s house
There’s a photograph
Of a day gone past
Always makes me laugh
There’s a little girl
Wary of the world
She got much to learn
Get her fingers burned
An affinity
Between you and me
Cause we’re family
Said that I’d be fine
Give me all your time
And I left your side
Like a butterfly

Shower me with your love
All of everyday
You make the red rose sun
Shine on me
Lift me up so high
Watch me fly away
Would you live your life
Like a butterfly

In my mother’s house
There was happiness
I wrapped my myself in it
Was my chrysalis
As my life unfolds
See a pattern through
Of you protecting me
And I protecting you
What was that you’d say
Make your own mistakes
And when you’re grown
Make sure that you remain the same
Now I realise
What was on your mind
When I left your side
Like a butter fly

Shower me with your love
All of everyday
You make the red rose sun
Shine on me
Lift me up so high
Watch me fly away
Give me life
Like a butterfly

Shower me with your love
All of everyday
You make the red rose sun
Shine on me
Lift me up so high
Watch me fly away
Give me life
Like a butterfly

———————————————————–

"Breathless"

Seems like everyone else has a love just for them,
I don’t mind, we have such a good time,
My best friend, but sometimes, well,
I wish we could be more than friends,
Tell me do you know?
Tell me do you know?
Oh..

I get so breathless, when you call my name,
I’ve often wondered, do you feel the same?
There’s a chemistry, energy, a synchronicity
When we’re all alone,
So don’t tell me
You can’t see
What I’m thinking of.

I can understand that you don’t want to cross the line,
And you know i can’t promise you things,
Will turn out fine,
But i have to be honest, I want you to be mine
Tell me do you know?
Tell me do you know?
Oh…

I get so breathless, when you call my name,
I’ve often wondered, do you feel the same?
There’s a chemistry, energy, a synchronicity
When we’re all alone,
So don’t tell me
You can’t see
Oh!

‘Cause I’ve tried to do this right in your own time
I’ve been telling with my eyes, my heart’s on fire,
Why don’t you realise?
Tell me do you know?
Tell me do you know?
I get so breathless…

your reappearance in my life again was not by coincidence. i sought for comfort, solace, healing and support from another, and certainly did not expect it to come from you.

again, thanks for the wonderful time on sat nite, it was great meeting your wacky cousins and family, meeting my old and new friends at her birthday.. surprise surprise there for your cousin, eh

it was an extremely pleasant evening, as it allowed me to be subtly be alone, and yet not lonely..

i arrived at LA in very good spirits and energy (as trey aptly pointed out)

thanks for just appreciating the moment with me, a moment of silence and allowing me the journey into a safety zone where i can just be comfortable.

your revelation has definitely shed some light into how our friendship is like. a lot of doubt and uncertainties have been running in my head, and i don’t expect anything anymore, nor will i question your purpose for this unexpected and surprising presence..

————————————————————————-

i have learnt that i’m very insecure of certain things in my life and have come to a point of hating myself. for not being able to let go of my past, i’ve seeked for reassureances in my present.

though only cushioning my present state, it still does not show that i’m content with myself, and have in turn, built barriers around me and pushing others away.

the question now is, why am i hating myself and what is it that i’m insecure about?

i realised that all these while, i’ve always thought myself not good enough and constantly live in fear of guilt, non-acceptance and loneliness. these are the demons that i’m about to face, and i’ll need to be ready to deal with them..

something started to die in me a couple of months back, its a process that i’ve been enveloping for many years now, and its about to come to an end.

like a phoenix that is able to burst in flames and die, i’m being ‘reborn’ from the ashes with a new life.

the time again for rebirth, revive and regenerate

———————————————————————————

Artist : Smashing Pumpkins

Song : The End is the Beginning is the End

The sewers belch me up
The heavens spit me out
From ethers tragic I am born again
And now I’m with you now
Inside your world of wow
To move in desires made of deadly pretends
Till the end times begin

Is it bright where you are
Have the people changed
Does it make you happy you’re so strange
And in your darkest hour, I hold secrets flame
You can watch the world devoured in it’s pain
Strange
Strange

Link: Blogthings - Is Your Love Style Passionate or Compassionate?.

You Are 58% Passionate, 42% Compassionate

You possess an ideal balance of passion and compassion. You definitely can get swept away and lose your head a little. But you’re rarely a fool for love!

Link: Blogthings - Are You An Extrovert or An Introvert?.

You Are 50% Extrovert, 50% Introvert

You’re a bit outgoing, a bit reserved Like most people, you enjoy being social But you also value the time you have alone You have struck a good balance!

Link: Blogthings - How Much Lust Do You Have?.

Your Lust Quotient: 63%

You are a very lustful person - and it sometimes gets the better of you! You know how to hold back, but you hardly ever do.

Link: Blogthings - What Do People Envy About You?.

People Envy Your Compassion

You have a kind heart and an unusual empathy for all living creatures. You tend to absorb others’ happiness and pain. People envy your compassion, and more importantly, the connections it helps you build. And compassionate as you are, you feel for them.

Link: Blogthings - How Much Have You Changed in 10 Years?.

You’ve Changed 64% in 10 Years

Compared to who you were ten years ago, you’ve changed a great deal. In fact, you’re probably in a completely different phase of your life - and very happy about it!

Link: Blogthings - How Are You In Love?.

How You Are In Love

You take a while to fall in love with someone. Trust takes time. You tend to take more than give in relationships. You tend to get very attached when you’re with someone. You want to see your love all the time. You love your partner unconditionally and don’t try to make them change. You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren’t loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.

Link: Blogthings - What’s Your Summer Love Style?.

Your Summer Love Type is Open and Free

This summer one thing is for sure… There’s no way anyone is going to tie you down or keep you home. You’re all about exploring, flirting, and having the time of your life. No doubt about it, you’ll find summer love. Many summer loves!

why is it that when i relay what’s been going on in my life with him, no matter the good things i say, why do they still call you a bastard? what are they seeing that i’m not?

i keep wondering if i was blinded by love.. was i a fool to get involve?

i don’t believe in being ’safe’.. i’m one that would take chances and go for the bigger things in life. if i made it through the toughest, the rewards will be sweeter than anything. but if i don’t, its a long fall, harder than most, and heavier to pick up after.. never a settler for mediocre..

i’ve figured that i can be a very lonely person.. so private and reserved, that the reason why i write this blog is also so i don’t have to talk to just one person about what’s going on in my life.. in fact, i don’t like to talk about what’s going on in my life, what comes out of my mouth is also only 1% of what actually goes on in my head..

do you really know how i feel? do you really know what i think?

i’ve learnt i’m like a sponge, but no ‘one’ to sponge for me.. do you realise how lonely that feels?

i don’t deny that i have a lot of friends, but none of them are actually close to me. sure, i tell you lot stories and dramas in my life..

but have i told you what i’ve learnt from them? have i told you what i thought bout them? have i told you what happens next? have i told you why and how it happened? have i told you my intentions? believe me, it ain’t pretty when u hear it.. only 3 have endured, never have i found anyone else worthy enough..

i only have 3 really close friends in the whole world that i actually say what’s in my heart and listen to. well, now its just two (and only when they are not busy) considering the situation..

everyone comes and talk to me about their burdens, shares with me about their life, their past, hoping that i can accept them for who they are, asks for tlc and attention, and after that, all they want to be is friends?? sigh..

i’ve learnt that i’m everybody’s best friend, but nobody’s girlfriend..