Tails or Tales…

many has asked me how i’m coping, now that he’s gone.. well, time to break the news that he’s not gone, he’s decided to stay. he will return to where he came from for holidays, and has made here home..

i’ve been jumping for joy when i heard, and my heart has done leaps and flips. i felt lighter almost automatically.. i guess i found my match. he’s one character that i never guessed that i would go out with. of course considering the fact that he’s a decade older than i am, our horoscopes are so incompatible (yes, i’m a believer), our characters don’t really match, and yet we manage to fall in love..

call me crazy, but i think i’ve found my footsteps in love again, when i thought i could never love another. after a crushing heartbreak, although it was a mutual breakoff, but still it was heartbreaking, cause we did love each other to the ends of the world, just that it’s not our time and decided to go our separate ways before things got worst. i was numb, immune to most feelings but anger, hate, sadness, i was on the verge of depression.

fortunately i had my closes friends with me, be it in physical or over the phone. they supported me throughout the way. went to all ends to be with me when i was close to insanity, saved me from drowning in sadness.

i was ready to move on, but not let go yet.. i had no money.. i had no income.. and i had no love.. i wouldn’t have committed suicide, but i was in depression. that was when i felt that i had to do something to pick myself up again. and so i worked in a bar. i love the rush of things, the different characters that come in and out. and when i thought all was lost in love, i met him.. we went out, chatted, had our drinks, and after a couple of weeks, i felt that mayb i’m feeling again..

i have let go, and moved on. now it’s my turn to be by the sides of my friends who are going through some heartaches. i’ll be there for you, just call me..

"Leaving On A Jet Plane"

All my bags are packed, I’m ready to go
I’m standin’ here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye

But the dawn is breakin’, it’s early morn
The taxi’s waitin’, he’s blowin’ his horn
Already I’m so lonesome I could die

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you’ll wait for me
Hold me like you’ll never let me go

‘Cause I’m leaving on a jet plane
I don’t know when I’ll be back again
Oh, babe, I hate to go…

so this is the song that i imagine that my bf will sing to me when he leaves.. yeah, he’s going away.. whether he’s coming back for good is another issue, but he will be visiting from time to time.. yeah, u guessed it, he’s a foreigner. it wasn’t quite a last minute, nor was is really planned. but i have felt for a while now, that he will have to leave one day, though he wants to stay.

it’s been a blue blue blue weekend since he told me that he may have to leave this week, and has already begun packing. then again, if there are still things to do, he may postpone.. am not keeping my hopes up, but i do hope that he will stay a little longer.

i can’t exactly remember how the title actually came about.. but we were discussing about our sex lives, and this title was suggested by girrian for me, hmmm…it was actually in reference to the fact that i haven’t spent time with my bf in a month.. we’ve both been busy and and he’s been travelling, hence the title "it’s been a month.."

"and it’s wet" came in when we got our pants wet while walking in the rain on fri nite. no… not anything kinky of sorts.. although, that is an idea there ;)) hmmmmmm.. damn, if only they can have emoticons here!!

well, the weekend was not too bad.. best friend was sad cause his gf went back to her home town. so, i had lunch with him and went out later in the nite again too.. we had really late lunch, bout 2.30 or so, and after that i had family reunion dinner..

thank god that my metabolic rate is getting higher, my apetite level is catching up with me, so came dinner time i was quite hungry again. it was a typical 9 course meal at this chi restaurant at armada hotel, pj. huge family function, cause it was my grandaunty’s birthday. i think all in all, there were about 15 tables of relatives.. that is just for my grandaunty’s side.. come the time for my wedding, i think i’ll go bankrupt just thinking of the amount of tables i have to invite for my side.. my family is just tooo huge, and the relatives were bugging my mom about when i’m gonna get married. scary.. i’ve not even really settled in this relationship and am already being bugged to be married off. wait till they meet him, then mayb they’ll have second thoughts. hehehe… anyways, dinner was boring, at the end of it was a karaoke session, where the microphone was at full volume and the aunties were in high pitches. ouch!

so after dropping my mom & bro off home, i went downtown to Jln Doraisamy, where bar savahn and the loft is.. was at the bar called "that indian thing", TIT for short. drinking with the best friend again.. and by that time, he was quite depress and so we drank to cheer him up a little. met some of his friends there, checking out how small the world really is asking if we know this person and that person and realise that we know all that person..

after that, i got stuck at 3 police roadblocks on the way to bangsar.. went to my regular stop, bar flams.. quite high already, but on the verge of sobering up, and couldn’t think of a better place to do it than my second home, bar flams. that nite i didn’t park with the jockey like i normally do and parked on the yellow line near grappa’s, and within 20 min that i was in flams, i got a freaking summon!! it was rather stupid of me, knowing there was a full fledge police operations going on. got home, tired, knocked out after a bathe..

got up at 10.45 in the morn.. started screaming in panic.. tied my hair, ran to the toilet, did the deeds.. ran back to my room, changed halfway and thought and screamed sommore "arrgghhh, wat the fish am i doing?? it’s a bloody sunday! i don’t need to go to work today!!!" with all the foolishness and self embarassment, i undressed and changed into casuals and sat in front of tv till lunch time.

so that was the half wasted weekend i had.. and then only beneficial thing i did was the gym last nite..

it’s been a month…… and it’s wet… and soaking through…

Link: Personality Disorder Test - Personality Test.

Hmmmmm… is this me?? u tell me…

My new boss came in last week on 1/7 and the first thing she asked the team was to provide her with our short term & long term goals. Thought I’ll share it here as well…

For short term goals, i feel that it would more personality attribute oriented. The issues that I’m facing are:

Short Term Goals:

• Self-discipline : i.e. getting to work before 9.30am. I know it’s trivial, however, in my previous agency, the timing was more flexible where we were allowed to come in at 10-10.30am. Culture here is different and therefore I would need to break the habit of coming at 10, and come in before 9.30am
• Maturity : I tend to panic and be quite dramatic when time comes closer to a deadline and things are not running smoothly. Not that I cannot handle the pressure of the work or the stress, but that’s the way I cope with it. The job still gets done anyways. Therefore I hope that I can mature from this and handle things with a more relaxed and professional approach.
• Client management : not really an issue, but would definitely want to learn more on how to handle different scopes of clients, in terms of understanding their wants and need, and being tactful, and etc. believe that learning is a never-ending process.

Long Term Goals:

• Within 2 years, would like to work towards achieving Account Manager position. Not that I wouldn’t want it any sooner, just that I feel that I should have enough foundation before I chose to move up to the next level. Have no strong desire to move up to Account Director as yet.
• Within 5 years, have gathered enough knowledge and guidance, as well as insights to move into strat planning. no need to worry anymore bout nagging clients it’s enough having to deal with both the nagging creatives and the clients, time to just worry bout 1. Real reason why am not on the strat team now, is because I feel that I lack knowledge and outlook in life. The idea now is to look at different perspective in life, in advertising terms, customer behavioral, clients wants and need to whether it’s aligned with the consumers wants and needs, observe buying patterns, product lifecycles, consumer mindset, brand perceptions and etc.

here’s the 10 year plan which i definitely didn’t share with the boss, where i actually want run my own bar and restaurant. a really classy place yet homie feeling. this feeling of doing the bar thing is a spin off from when i was working in baflams bangsar. every now n then, i itch to get back behind bars and mix my own drinks